Below is a compilation of things I wish I would've known and taken to heart when I was younger. I was thinking about my freshman girls the other night and all these things came to the surface and so I decided to make this list. Here ya go. <3
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1. "Sometimes, you must free yourself with the ability to say, 'no.' 'No,' might make them angry, but it will make you free. If no one has ever told you, your freedom is more important than their anger." --Nayyirah Waheed
2. "A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man should have to seek Him just to find her." --Maya Angelou
3. Don't knock it til you try it.
4. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.
5. Just because you can doesn't mean you always should. Be wise. WWJD may seem cliche, but it is so important.
6. Eat lunch with the new kids.
7. Make time for your mom on your birthday; it's a special day for her, too.
8. Don't stare.
9. If you've made your point, stop talking.
10. Look people in the eyes when you talk to them. It makes a difference, even if it scares you.
11. Be kind to little kids. Your reputation is build over a lifetime.
12. If you don't understand, ask before it is too late. Being confused doesn't make you stupid.
13. Be a good listener. Don't just take your turn to talk.
14. Keep your word. You are what you do, not what you say.
15. It's okay to cry. It's okay to be angry. It's not okay to bring it out on the people around you.
16. You're never too old or too cool to need your mom.
17. Smile at strangers.
18. The first person to act on their anger always loses the argument.
19. Everyone knows something you don't.
20. Failure is an idea, not a person. You will fail; you will never be a failure.
21. Beautiful girl, you don't owe anyone anything. Don't let people make you feel like you are obligated to keep them happy. It's a lie.
22. "Never reply when you are angry. Never make a promise when you are happy. Never make a decision when you are sad." --Anonymous
23. Take care of yourself the way you would take care of your daughter or your best friend.
24. Never take two doses of Benadryl at the same time. It'll basically knock you out.
25. Always double-check to make sure the cashier gave you the correct change. Sometimes they miscount.
26. Sing. Sing til your throat is sore. And make sure you record it. Your own voice is going to be the most comforting to you, ironically, and honey, that's not vanity, that's acceptance. You are slowly learning to love the vessel that houses your soul.
27. He's going to tell you he loves you. He's going to tell you you're precious. He's going to tell you you're beautiful. He's going to tell you that you can do things no one else can. He's telling the truth. Cling to that truth. Don't cling to him.
28. Blood doesn't make a sister or a brother or a mother or a father. Love does.
29. Eat that extra cupcake. Sing the harmony to that song. Go ask him to dance. You're never gonna be happy if you constantly second-guess yourself.
30. Be open. Offer yourself. You're going to get hurt, but you're also going to heal, both yourself and others.
31. Don't let your identity depend on what she does next. You are not her; you are you and you are enough.
32. "Though you may cry over it at night, clenching your fingers around your sheets, and hot tears streaming onto your pillow, you must come to terms with the fact that not everyone will love you. Some people will never come in at all, and some will leave, and you will find their smudgy handprints on the doorknob. Don’t be bitter, you've left messes of your own." --Molly Mae Wilson
33. Sometimes it feels like it's easier to let your heart be hard and be angry and hold the fact that they hurt you against them, but honestly, it sucks the life out of you. You've got to forgive them. Being bitter just makes you a prisoner. You may tell yourself you don't know how, but that's no excuse. You've just got to choose to love them more than your heart is aching from the pain they caused you. You'll be SO glad you did.
34. You're not going to have those older girls around forever. Take every chance you can to show them you love them.
35. When they leave, grieve it. It's okay. But after you've grieved it, you've got to wipe your face and be present for your own girls. God does all things for a reason. These little girls are your reason.
36. You don't have to have it all figured out to move forward. That's the point of faith.
37. 1 Corinthians 13 is so important. Memorize it. Cling to it. Live your life in love, according to that outline. It will be so helpful when you're dealing with difficult people.
38. Jesus is enough. Jesus is all you need. Jesus is enough. Jesus is all you need. Jesus is enough. Jesus is all you need. Jesus is enough. Jesus is all you need.
39. Your love language is not every other person's. Learn to speak their's as well.
40. Mom knows a lot more than you think she does. Trust her.
41. The most effective outline for an apology is as follows: I am sorry for xxx. It was wrong because xxx. Next time I will xxx. Will you forgive me?
42. The most effective way to ask for an apology is as follows: When you said/did xxx, it hurt/angered/frustrated me in this way, and I would like an apology.
43. You are responsible for every area of your life.
44. Life is not fair. People leave, that kid who cheated is going to get a better grade than you, that event is going to get canceled. Don't let it make you bitter.
45. Don't wear eye makeup if you suspect it's gonna be a rough day.
46. Your stomach is beautiful. Your hips are beautiful. Your hair is beautiful. God took great joy in creating your human body. It is precious. Treat it as such.
47. Make weird faces. It'll make people laugh and ease the tension right after you have a fight with your sister.
48. If someone compliments you, instead of denying it or milking it for everything it's worth, simply say, "thank you. I really appreciate that." It's more classy and modest.
49. Baking cookies is therapeutic.
50. Life is hard, little girl. It'll knock you down and leave you battered and bruised. But it is so, so beautiful. Cherish it. Cherish the people who make your life what it is. They are all important, God has given them to you to teach you. You are loved and valued and never alone, and held by a God who knows you fully, and is so, so good, all the time, and you're okay. Always. You're SO okay.
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
Monday, October 13, 2014
For my benefit
Long time since I've written. It feels good to be back. :)
My church youth group is going on our fall retreat on Thursday, and though I can honestly say I can't wait, at the same time I am uncomfortable and frightened at the thought of going without my seniors. It's so weird. Being an upperclassman is so foreign; I'm still getting used to it. I'll be okay, though, you know? The Lord places us in different seasons for different reasons, but always for the good of the ones He loves.
Speaking of which, I was reading in Isaiah the other night; a story of a righteous king who was very sick and cried out to the Lord for deliverance. Read with me; the text is found in Isaiah 37:
-----
9 A writing of Hezekiah king of Judah, after he had been sick and had recovered from his sickness:
10 I said, In the middle[d] of my days
I must depart;
I am consigned to the gates of Sheol
for the rest of my years.
11 I said, I shall not see the Lord,
the Lord in the land of the living;
I shall look on man no more
among the inhabitants of the world.
12 My dwelling is plucked up and removed from me
like a shepherd's tent;
like a weaver I have rolled up my life;
he cuts me off from the loom;
from day to night you bring me to an end;
13 I calmed myself[e] until morning;
like a lion he breaks all my bones;
from day to night you bring me to an end.
14 Like a swallow or a crane I chirp;
I moan like a dove.
My eyes are weary with looking upward.
O Lord, I am oppressed; be my pledge of safety!
15 What shall I say? For he has spoken to me,
and he himself has done it.
I walk slowly all my years
because of the bitterness of my soul.
16 O Lord, by these things men live,
and in all these is the life of my spirit.
Oh restore me to health and make me live!
17 Surely it was for my benefit
that I suffered such anguish;
but in love you have delivered my life
from the pit of destruction,
for you have cast all my sins
behind your back.
18 For Sheol does not thank you;
death does not praise you;
those who go down to the pit do not hope
for your faithfulness.
19 The living, the living, he thanks you,
as I do this day;
the father makes known to the children
your faithfulness.
20 The Lord will save me,
and we will play my music on stringed instruments
all the days of our lives,
at the house of the Lord.
-----
Reading this passage last night resonated deeply with my soul. I have been though the valley of the shadow. Recently, even. I have come face-to-face with unfair circumstances. I have been sick at heart and cried to the Lord to deliver me. I cannot count on two hands how many times I have sat silently, paralyzed at the aching of my heart, or screamed, cried, balled my fists and gritted my teeth and pleaded like Hezekiah, "O, Lord, I am oppressed; be my pledge of safety! Oh, restore me to health and make me live!"
Sometimes, my God does not respond in the way I, in all of my 16-year-old wisdom, think He should, and most of the time the Enemy likes to tempt me with the lie that because my prayers are not "being answered," He does not care. But that thinking is so flawed because my God has proven Himself so faithful to me. Always. I have seen it, though not always right away. Every time I face a storm of any sort, no matter how hopeless seems the struggle, I am always somehow able to come out the other side, somehow still able to lift my face to Heaven and say, whether it is whispered in exhaustion with tears of relief streaming down my face or sung at the top of my lungs, "My soul, praise Yahweh!"
If I ask the Lord for patience, for example, Him saying, "Yes, of course, dear," and instantly handing it to me would defeat the purpose of learning to be patient. Instead, He is going to allow circumstances into my life to test and strengthen my patience. They may suck and I may kick and scream in the process because I don't understand that it is for my good at the time, but in the end I will come out that much more patient and that much more like Him.
For this reason, I refuse to believe that God brings trouble into my life simply because He is God and enjoys exercising His authority. My God is not a prideful bully waiting to strike me down as soon as I stand. My loving Father knows my struggles and my needs; He allows trials to come into my life accordingly so that I may be strengthened and refined and made holy. Hezekiah said, "Surely it was for my benefit that I suffered such anguish; but in love you have delivered my life from the pit of destruction, for you have cast all my sins behind your back." (v. 17, emphasis added.) Everything He does is for my good. My good God wants me to have abundant life. Abundant, however, does not mean a life free of struggle. Jesus said, "In the world you will have tribulation." Of course I am going to face trouble in this place that is not my home. It is one of the promises of my humanity. BUT. But. "But take heart; I have overcome the world."
So much has happened in my life that people could look at and pity me for; in fact, I do a wonderful job of throwing pity parties for myself. But looking back on this path that I have walked, from where I am right now, I am so richly blessed with the people and circumstances the Lord has used to bring me to this place. Because of them, even with how painful they were at the time, I am so much more mature, patient, wiser, quieter, and refined, and so much more well-aware of the fact that He loves me. My God has a deep, personal love for me. He wants my best. It takes my breath away. I have done nothing to deserve Him. Praise Him with me; He is so good. He does all things for my benefit.
"The living, the living, he thanks you, as I do this day; the father makes known to the children your faithfulness...and we will play...music on stringed instruments all the days of our lives, at the house of the Lord." (v. 20)
Lead me on, Lord, my Strength. Thank You for Your love for me. You are glorious and You are Everything and You are so wonderful to me and I love You. I am so unworthy. I wish I could kiss Your feet. ❤
My church youth group is going on our fall retreat on Thursday, and though I can honestly say I can't wait, at the same time I am uncomfortable and frightened at the thought of going without my seniors. It's so weird. Being an upperclassman is so foreign; I'm still getting used to it. I'll be okay, though, you know? The Lord places us in different seasons for different reasons, but always for the good of the ones He loves.
Speaking of which, I was reading in Isaiah the other night; a story of a righteous king who was very sick and cried out to the Lord for deliverance. Read with me; the text is found in Isaiah 37:
-----
9 A writing of Hezekiah king of Judah, after he had been sick and had recovered from his sickness:
10 I said, In the middle[d] of my days
I must depart;
I am consigned to the gates of Sheol
for the rest of my years.
11 I said, I shall not see the Lord,
the Lord in the land of the living;
I shall look on man no more
among the inhabitants of the world.
12 My dwelling is plucked up and removed from me
like a shepherd's tent;
like a weaver I have rolled up my life;
he cuts me off from the loom;
from day to night you bring me to an end;
13 I calmed myself[e] until morning;
like a lion he breaks all my bones;
from day to night you bring me to an end.
14 Like a swallow or a crane I chirp;
I moan like a dove.
My eyes are weary with looking upward.
O Lord, I am oppressed; be my pledge of safety!
15 What shall I say? For he has spoken to me,
and he himself has done it.
I walk slowly all my years
because of the bitterness of my soul.
16 O Lord, by these things men live,
and in all these is the life of my spirit.
Oh restore me to health and make me live!
17 Surely it was for my benefit
that I suffered such anguish;
but in love you have delivered my life
from the pit of destruction,
for you have cast all my sins
behind your back.
18 For Sheol does not thank you;
death does not praise you;
those who go down to the pit do not hope
for your faithfulness.
19 The living, the living, he thanks you,
as I do this day;
the father makes known to the children
your faithfulness.
20 The Lord will save me,
and we will play my music on stringed instruments
all the days of our lives,
at the house of the Lord.
-----
Reading this passage last night resonated deeply with my soul. I have been though the valley of the shadow. Recently, even. I have come face-to-face with unfair circumstances. I have been sick at heart and cried to the Lord to deliver me. I cannot count on two hands how many times I have sat silently, paralyzed at the aching of my heart, or screamed, cried, balled my fists and gritted my teeth and pleaded like Hezekiah, "O, Lord, I am oppressed; be my pledge of safety! Oh, restore me to health and make me live!"
Sometimes, my God does not respond in the way I, in all of my 16-year-old wisdom, think He should, and most of the time the Enemy likes to tempt me with the lie that because my prayers are not "being answered," He does not care. But that thinking is so flawed because my God has proven Himself so faithful to me. Always. I have seen it, though not always right away. Every time I face a storm of any sort, no matter how hopeless seems the struggle, I am always somehow able to come out the other side, somehow still able to lift my face to Heaven and say, whether it is whispered in exhaustion with tears of relief streaming down my face or sung at the top of my lungs, "My soul, praise Yahweh!"
If I ask the Lord for patience, for example, Him saying, "Yes, of course, dear," and instantly handing it to me would defeat the purpose of learning to be patient. Instead, He is going to allow circumstances into my life to test and strengthen my patience. They may suck and I may kick and scream in the process because I don't understand that it is for my good at the time, but in the end I will come out that much more patient and that much more like Him.
For this reason, I refuse to believe that God brings trouble into my life simply because He is God and enjoys exercising His authority. My God is not a prideful bully waiting to strike me down as soon as I stand. My loving Father knows my struggles and my needs; He allows trials to come into my life accordingly so that I may be strengthened and refined and made holy. Hezekiah said, "Surely it was for my benefit that I suffered such anguish; but in love you have delivered my life from the pit of destruction, for you have cast all my sins behind your back." (v. 17, emphasis added.) Everything He does is for my good. My good God wants me to have abundant life. Abundant, however, does not mean a life free of struggle. Jesus said, "In the world you will have tribulation." Of course I am going to face trouble in this place that is not my home. It is one of the promises of my humanity. BUT. But. "But take heart; I have overcome the world."
So much has happened in my life that people could look at and pity me for; in fact, I do a wonderful job of throwing pity parties for myself. But looking back on this path that I have walked, from where I am right now, I am so richly blessed with the people and circumstances the Lord has used to bring me to this place. Because of them, even with how painful they were at the time, I am so much more mature, patient, wiser, quieter, and refined, and so much more well-aware of the fact that He loves me. My God has a deep, personal love for me. He wants my best. It takes my breath away. I have done nothing to deserve Him. Praise Him with me; He is so good. He does all things for my benefit.
"The living, the living, he thanks you, as I do this day; the father makes known to the children your faithfulness...and we will play...music on stringed instruments all the days of our lives, at the house of the Lord." (v. 20)
Lead me on, Lord, my Strength. Thank You for Your love for me. You are glorious and You are Everything and You are so wonderful to me and I love You. I am so unworthy. I wish I could kiss Your feet. ❤
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