Hold me, Jesus

Well, sometimes my life 
Just don't make sense at all 
When the mountains look so big 
And my faith just seems so small

So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf 
You have been King of my glory 
Won't You be my Prince of Peace?
-----
Rich Mullins wrote this song in a very dark time in his life. It was a prayer for Jesus to take the hopeless, broken person he was and show him the love Jesus has for him and to comfort him, to restore light, order, and beauty to the chaos and destruction his life had become.

We all go through struggles and have problems we don’t want people worrying about or knowing about, but God...God is our Father. And He is here for us through all of it. Even when we don’t want Him to be and when we try to hide our faults from Him. And that’s okay, even King David tried to hide his faults, which was evident when he wrote “but even in the darkness, I cannot hide from You.” (Psalm 139) For me, it’s not about being scared that God will punish me, it’s about being ashamed Jesus ever had to die for me.

There’s this story of a rich man who came to Jesus and showed he lived a good life and that he followed all the rules all the time, and Jesus was like, “that's great. Now go and give all your possessions to the poor.” And the man couldn't do that. See, Jesus didn't want the perfect man that he appeared to be. He wanted a person who was aware of his weakness. He wanted a man stripped of all the things that made him feel important. And I think that’s what being a Christian is about. Admitting our weak nature so God can have the glory for all the good in our lives. But that’s hard. It’s probably the hardest thing we can do. And that’s why we need Jesus to hold us and tell us “I love you for who you are. Not who you think you should be.”

A lot of people think being a Christian is running toward God’s open arms, which is nice. But, darling, do you know what’s better? The truth. The glorious truth that God doesn't require you running and working your hardest to reach Him, but rather that He is right behind you waiting to hold you when you fall. 
If we're being honest, following Jesus isn't always going to be easy, it won’t always make sense. But that's why we're given the Scripture. It’s not so we can point to a verse and prove we're right, it’s to prove God is always right and the rest of us are just guessing. And if we can get by with realizing that, if we can lower our pride to admit we don’t fully understand the Lord of hosts, we can see Jesus is standing by waiting to hold us. Just something I was thinking about last night...

❤